Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the condom got lost in my hair
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
it was like eating out sand paper
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
