i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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