batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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