32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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