I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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