I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize