did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Jerry, you need to find god
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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