dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
