I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
