I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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