Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
