All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
