My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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