I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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