grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
