I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize