You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
