i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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