Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
