I will die if light touches me.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
