What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
