Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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