I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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