I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think I died a long time ago.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
