Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
