I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
