my soul wont recognize me after tonight
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
