You just made me feel so damn special
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
