is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize