I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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