I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
