Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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