So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
