I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
