the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize