the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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