did you get engaged???
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
