Betty ford says i'm here all night
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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