12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
