Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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