i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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