Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize