I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize