Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
