i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
