so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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