69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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