butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
