Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
