everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
