Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
