Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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