I wanna bring you to show and tell
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
