Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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