Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
