Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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