I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
